Heckno. I do NOT have any money for you. First off, it's Christmastime, and I am BROKE. And even if I *did* I would certainly not give it to you, because I know you want to buy a "little Christmas cheer" with it, and...seriously? You're going to die of liquor poisoning if you touch another drop. Also, to effectively mooch around these parts, it's often customary to: open. your. eyes. when speaking to a person. Consciousness is usually something I look for in my holiday panhandlers. FYI- you may want to change your pants, because um..you've peed yourself.
To The WALMART Staff, Suppliers, Owners, Etc. :
(disclaimer - this rant applies to my local Walmart)
YOU. SUCK. That's all there is to it. I have never seen so many lazy people in my life. That teenage girl you have working in the fitting department is a LOSER, and if you are paying her for what she's doing, you might as well give me a paycheck for doing NOTHING too. Also - what the heck happened to the great seasonal merchandise you had last year? Seriously. Half an aisle of gift sets and baskets?! Pft. Last year you had THREE AISLES OF STUFF. And on a side note, NOBODY is buying Hannah Montana products anymore. Except maybe nightgowns. Get. Over. Her. You do realize that most of the town has officially declared your store a CRAPHOLE, and they are all bustling around at TARGET as we speak...you do know that....right? OH. and you have what appears to be a
To The School Office:
My son is NOT sick. He suffers from occasional low blood sugar, and often feels nauseous and light headed if he doesn't eat regularly. He was running late for the bus this morning and dashed out too fast for me to
To The General Public:
How hard can it be to find a KITTEN? I mean Bob Barker isn't THAT effective is he?? IS HE?? I have called 50 some-odd places and NOBODY has any kittens. Not even *the pound* has any kittens..What The? GirlyDiva is going to be very annoyed if one of her birthday presents isn't purring through the wrapping paper.
Holiday Sniveling Fin.
**UPDATE**
YES!! Nener Nener Bob Barker. I have found a kitten! Interestingly enough, the girl who WORKS in the Petsmart Adoption department has kittens at home (Job Security?) They are 9 weeks old, an orange and a grey tabby. NOW I just need to PICK one. I hate choosing. Maybe I will take them both.
6 comments:
I shall now comment in list form...beware.
1) All panhandlers make me sad. Native American panhandlers make me MISERABLE. Such a wonderful culture being lost.
2)ALL Wal-Marts suck.
3) I had hypoglycemia in high school & ended up getting a doctor's note that allowed me to eat in class occasionally.
4) It ain't kitten season. I used to volunteer at a wonderful no-kill shelter (the BEST place to get an animal) and kittens just don't really get born this time of year. You can either get GirlyDiva an older animal (you should be successful in finding a juvenile about 6-12 months if you want a young cat) or give her a coupon to use in the spring when kittens are rampant. Also, black cats have the hardest time finding homes out of all felines. Silly superstitious people!
Okay, I've exhausted myself of pertinent observations.
Happy Holidays!
I would take a pink cat at this point. Actually..that would be really cool wouldn't it? Pink kittens? LOL LOVE the listform! keep it coming! :)
oh goodness....there are kittens here at our SPCA. I was just on their website....yesterday morning.
:(
Y'all need kittens in AZ!
On a creative note: you can always print her up a certificate entitling her to one kitten of her choice for her birthday....and then tell her that you wanted her to get to pick it out. That may buy you some time!
You missed the seasonal stuff - it was there around Halloween.
I vote for the orange one. I have a thing about orange cats!
Oh, this cracked me up. I just returned from the big W-Mart and had to try really hard not to choke the s-t-u-p-i-d check out clerk with my bare hands!
Congrats on the kitten!
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