Tuesday, December 23

It's Here.

Yes..... According to my little Christmas counter, Christmas is here. So I am posting one last time before I take a couple days off for the festivities.

• The Roast Beast for this year has been decreed. Yea, it shall be ham. All in the land of dysfunction adore ham. I have also learned how to cook it in the crock pot, which means a better feast experience for all, and less cooking hassle. Yay me!

• The birthday kitten. (see below post) You know, the one who looks so cute & innocent? He chewed the sh** out of my christmas lights. ::insert involuntary lip twitch here:: I can't believe we didn't find that little punk fried to a crisp under the tree. He completely severed one strand from it's plug, (mind you, they were plugged in at the time) and, we had to unplug two others because he nearly gnawed them in half - The. Little. Effer.

• We finally got all our Christmas shopping done. After 2 full days and numerous jaunts through the 9th circle of hell in and out of Walmart, Target, Kohls, and Dare I Say It- The Mall, I have just placed myself on the national donor match waiting list, for my impending double foot transplant.

• It snows here. every. freaking. year. You *must* have 4XD in the winter. It never fails- some idiot in a tiny little POS car gets out on the road in a full-on blizzard and manages to get stuck in the middle of the intersection, causing a 5 car pile-up. These Yo-heads are giving the local law-enforcement a migraine, and putting a serious beyotch in my Christmas Cheer. Tire chains people!

And so after much CHAOS, we here at dysfunctional house, are finally housebound. It's all cookies and cocoa from here. Nobody and I mean nobody is going anywhere until well after New Years. So, go on ahead Jack Frost. BRING IT.

OH yeah and to my 2 readers, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

8 comments:

Deece said...

I love ham! We aren't doing a big to do this year, just inviting relatives over for a simple brunch, but there will be ham. Oh yes. Yummy brunch-time quiches with leftover Thanksgiving ham that I froze from my 20 lb Thanksgiving ham.

Merry Christmas!

Christina Schmidt said...

Hmm I think you just reminded me why we do not have a cat!

I would SO enjoy just a tiny bit of snow and seriously as I type this I hear RAIN, pouring outside like it is summer time only colder.

Enjoy the roast beast piggy pig and MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU AND YOURS AS WELL!

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I'm making a ham tomorrow--but it is smoked and uncooked which freaks me out a little but I am ready for the challenge. Provided it defrosts in time.

Also, hugs to you for the comment you left RE; my dad and your mom. Four years can go by so quickly can't it? And, yet, when I think of all he's missed, it is staggering as well. Hopefully they are both in a better place, with feet up, sipping eggnog and glad that they aren't in a mall right now (my dad used to save his shopping for Christmas Eve so I'll definitely be thinking of him tomorrow!)

Anonymous said...

Sounds absolutely perfect! Ham, snow and no place to go. Enjoy every minute. Merry Christmas!

Mother of Chaos said...

Here in California, what we end up with are people who buy SUVs and then think they can drive in three feet of snow exactly like they do on an 85-degree sun-shiny day in Sacramento.

"I don't understand how it happened, officer! I mean, this is an Expedition!"

Idiots. We haz them.

ANYWAY! Hope your Christmas was merry, and at least mostly idiot-free. :)

dmmgmfm said...

I didn't put up a tree this year. There are three cats and a dog in the household...just putting a glass on the table is an invitation to disaster.

Glad your little furball didn't get electrocuted.

Happy Holidays,
Laurie

Gretchen said...

4x4 is a near given here in MN.

Thankfully, most that live around here understand the weather/road conditions.

hayseed said...

Jack Frost sure has brought it here! Happy new year!